A recent incident at my kid’s daycare sparked one of those “what do other parents really think” moments that often define early parenthood. Because we live in San Diego, one of many places suffering a homelessness crisis, the tension centered on a common urban conflict: the intersection of “child safety” and the presence of unhoused individuals.

To put it simply: a parent noticed a homeless person on the daycare campus, which is located within a larger church complex. What began as a reasonable concern about an unknown individual quickly spiraled. Soon, other parents were questioning the daycare’s licensing and personnel, using the guise of “child safety” to levy threats against the staff.

The reality is that the church has long provided services for the unhoused. The daycare staff are well aware of the visitors and any potential issues. Having seen similar patterns in my wife’s work public education, I recognize this cycle: a small, valid concern is amplified into an attack on an institution. I’ve seen this happen across school boards, daycares, and other city-funded entities over the last five years. We can empathize with a parent’s instinct to protect their child, but the lack of curiosity or “self-education” in this case turned a misunderstanding into a reputational crisis.

Much of our reaction is tied to how we perceive homelessness. We often forget that these are simply people with basic needs; many were visiting the church only to charge a phone or find a meal. When our immediate response is to demand costly security upgrades or threaten staff, we ignore the plight of the vulnerable and fail to evolve our understanding of human dignity.

As a young parent, the world can feel frightening. There’s certainly an overabundance of movies about protecting the family. The desire to keep a child safe is overwhelming. But fear does not breed kindness unless we consciously respond to that fear with kindness. We must be willing to look beyond our own anxieties and, as the saying goes, “turn the other cheek.” We can be better.